Every now and then in one's life you are faced with a situation you are unprepared for and unfailingly shocked by. Perhaps that moment will bring you closer to another, perhaps it will tear you apart. Perhaps it will be the start of a journey you did not expect, the mystery of it's conclusion pulling you further in. Everyone has these moments; we probably have them more than we know. They are the little turning points in the road called life that we all travel and inevitably they have a profound effect.
I had one such moment over the weekend and it will stay with me for as long as I live. This weekend was by no means a good one. I spent the majority of it cooped up in a u-haul driving through a blizzard with my dad in the passenger seat. Not anyone's idea of a rockin' good time, but it had to be done. I officially live in DC. I have a permanent address and everything. I want to do a little dance, but I don't think my co-workers would appreciate the visual.
As I said, my dad drove here with me and decided to stay a few extra days. I was excited and nervous as my dad and I have never spent much time alone together. It's sad to say, but my brother is my father's child and I am most definitely my mother's. Needless to say, I was looking forward to some one and one time with him. Since we got here and got the truck unloaded on Saturday, I decided to take him sightseeing on Sunday. We hit very monument on the wall - the Capitol Building, the Washington Monument, the World War 2 Memorial, the Korean War Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Vietnam Memorial. It was at the last that my moment occurred. First, my father being a man of very few words, I was startled when he said he wanted to find someone's name on the wall. I was even more taken aback when we found the name and there, standing in the middle of DC, I saw my father cry for the 4th time in my entire life. I wonder a little what he was crying for......what happened there? Who was this person that could cause so much emotion for such an unemotional man? Was it actually this man he was crying for or perhaps the memory of many lost comrades? I don't know, because I couldn't bring myself to ask. What I could do was take his hand and stand there solemnly as he remembered things I'm sure I can't even imagine. Then, as we quietly walked away I wondered just how much there is that I don't know about my father. I think maybe it's time I make the effort to get to know him.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
It Could Be More
Valentine's Day was a huge success, if i do say so myself. As it turns out, I'm not the one that went overboard. Godiva chocolates, music, dinner at a romantic restaurant, roses......and a few other things that shall remain private. He did well. But it's not the gifts that made the evening such a success. It's the little moments. The hand holding, kisses on the cheek, the affectionate looks. All of that does wonders for the ego. But there was one moment in particular when I knew that quite possibly this could be something special. We were laying there on the bed (fully clothed, mind you, though that would not last long) just looking at each other. He brushed the hair from my face and and whispered "wow." I could have asked what it meant, but I think I know. Since then things have been, well, perfect. Divine. Incredible. Something in our relationship has shifted, though I would be hard pressed to define it. I feel like we are becoming more open with each other, more in tune to the other's moods. Maybe it's just that we are getting closer. Whatever it is, I like it!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day to all my faithful readers! I am sitting here in the office awaiting the start to my much anticipated V-Day evening with MovieGuy (whose name we are changing to APR because Foxy insists on calling him Mr. Amusement Park Ride). First, let me just say that I don't understand why Valentine's Day is such a huge deal. I didn't even remember that it was coming up until Sunday afternoon when APR was driving me home. He says "We're definately doing something Thursday, right?". And like the true blonde that I am (though you wouldn't know it by looking at me), I respond with "Why, what's so special about Thursday?". He looks at me as if I have just committed one of the 7 deadly sins and tells me its Valentine's Day.
Oops. Missed that one.
Valentine's Day. For 3 days I pondered and agonized what to get him. I mean, we've only been dating a month and a half, so I'm not about to go all sugar mama and start buying him expensive gifts. I finally sent his friend a myspace message and garnered some assistance. We settled on a Blu-ray movie he's been wanting forever. Ok, its not the most romantic gift in the world, but I did put some thought into it. Or at least I was resourceful enough to get suggestions. Then there was the card.....that was a whole other experience in itself. Again, we're a fairly new couple. I don't want him opening a card that screams 'I Love You' in red glitter. I wanted something simple. Something chaste, if you will. Something that says I'm glad you're in my life, you make me happy.
I got Cupid mooning a couple. Not exactly what I had in mind, but it certainly doesn't say 'I Love You'.
And so I wait, wondering what surprises, if any, APR has in store for me. Did he get me a gift? Did I go too overboard? Is he planning a romantic evening?
Stay Tuned.........
Oops. Missed that one.
Valentine's Day. For 3 days I pondered and agonized what to get him. I mean, we've only been dating a month and a half, so I'm not about to go all sugar mama and start buying him expensive gifts. I finally sent his friend a myspace message and garnered some assistance. We settled on a Blu-ray movie he's been wanting forever. Ok, its not the most romantic gift in the world, but I did put some thought into it. Or at least I was resourceful enough to get suggestions. Then there was the card.....that was a whole other experience in itself. Again, we're a fairly new couple. I don't want him opening a card that screams 'I Love You' in red glitter. I wanted something simple. Something chaste, if you will. Something that says I'm glad you're in my life, you make me happy.
I got Cupid mooning a couple. Not exactly what I had in mind, but it certainly doesn't say 'I Love You'.
And so I wait, wondering what surprises, if any, APR has in store for me. Did he get me a gift? Did I go too overboard? Is he planning a romantic evening?
Stay Tuned.........
Monday, February 11, 2008
Two months later.....
Here I am! I'm back, and I apologize for the lengthy hiatus. I had several complaints over the weekend that I haven't kept up with this, so here y'all are.
So there are several things I don't understand. For instance, when you are trying to get to work just a little bit early, why is that the day the metro is delayed? Why do government workers insist on having 16 meetings about one tiny little detail and yet never seem to resolve the issue? Where do the animals really go when mom & dad say they took them to the farm? Ok, that last one was a joke, but you get where I am going with this.......
But one of the things I really don't understand is why it's so difficult to to admit that you love someone. Or at least care about them a great deal. OFB can't do it, even though I think he does. We've been on, we've been off, we've been to bed, we've been just friends. We've been awkward, we've been fine. And now, after all that he's just going to let me go. He tells me things when we are alone late at night, and then pretends they never happened. Is this normal? Probably for someone that has a girlfriend and has no intention of breaking up with her. How did I get into this situation, you may ask? The simple answer is that I have no wordly clue. Because sometimes I just do. Sometimes I just live. Sometimes sleeping with your best male friend in DC seems like a really great idea after a night out drinking when he's been looking at you the entire time with those eyes. Those deep, gorgoeus chocolate eyes.......but I digress. It seems like a good idea until the next morning when you have to face up to what you've done. And then you go on with your life trying to be friends. It's ridiculous. Yet I can't stop myself from wanting him in my life. I wish I could blame it on lonliness, but that would be a lie because.......
The Kitten has a boyfriend. Before you all start to wonder why I am still hung up OFB when I have a new guy, let me just say that my previous statements were more of a closure to that issue. I do want him as a part of my life, if we ever find a way to be friends after being more so very briefly. So back to the boyfriend (we'll call him MovieGuy)........I met him at a New Years Eve party when I was feeling particularly sad about OFB being in NC with his girlfriend. I wasn't looking and I certainly didn't expect to click with someone as quickly as I clicked with him. I saw him first, you couldn't really miss the aviator glasses and ridiculously large scarf around his neck. Did I mention that he's also a little goofy? We started talking, we laughed, we checked out the other's iPod. He held my hand and kissed me on the cheek when he left. I didn't think he's call. I actually sort of forgot about it. And then he did call....our first date was the day before his birthday and we've been going strong ever since. He is nothing like anyone I have ever dated. He's smart, sexy, creative and young. 24 to be exact. But I'm ok with that. He's young enough to still want to show me affection in public and celebrate Valentine's Day. Yes, that's right...the kitty is celebrating Valentine's Day. For real. This guy makes me weak in the knees. He makes me giddy, giggly and all sorts of nervous. I love it! He's so adorable all the time. He calls to check in, sends me cute text messages during the day and the nights we spend together I spend wrapped up in his arms. OMG, I'm sappy. Who am I???
And that is the gist of what has occured in the last two months. Well, that and I turned 30. But who wants to talk about that?
So there are several things I don't understand. For instance, when you are trying to get to work just a little bit early, why is that the day the metro is delayed? Why do government workers insist on having 16 meetings about one tiny little detail and yet never seem to resolve the issue? Where do the animals really go when mom & dad say they took them to the farm? Ok, that last one was a joke, but you get where I am going with this.......
But one of the things I really don't understand is why it's so difficult to to admit that you love someone. Or at least care about them a great deal. OFB can't do it, even though I think he does. We've been on, we've been off, we've been to bed, we've been just friends. We've been awkward, we've been fine. And now, after all that he's just going to let me go. He tells me things when we are alone late at night, and then pretends they never happened. Is this normal? Probably for someone that has a girlfriend and has no intention of breaking up with her. How did I get into this situation, you may ask? The simple answer is that I have no wordly clue. Because sometimes I just do. Sometimes I just live. Sometimes sleeping with your best male friend in DC seems like a really great idea after a night out drinking when he's been looking at you the entire time with those eyes. Those deep, gorgoeus chocolate eyes.......but I digress. It seems like a good idea until the next morning when you have to face up to what you've done. And then you go on with your life trying to be friends. It's ridiculous. Yet I can't stop myself from wanting him in my life. I wish I could blame it on lonliness, but that would be a lie because.......
The Kitten has a boyfriend. Before you all start to wonder why I am still hung up OFB when I have a new guy, let me just say that my previous statements were more of a closure to that issue. I do want him as a part of my life, if we ever find a way to be friends after being more so very briefly. So back to the boyfriend (we'll call him MovieGuy)........I met him at a New Years Eve party when I was feeling particularly sad about OFB being in NC with his girlfriend. I wasn't looking and I certainly didn't expect to click with someone as quickly as I clicked with him. I saw him first, you couldn't really miss the aviator glasses and ridiculously large scarf around his neck. Did I mention that he's also a little goofy? We started talking, we laughed, we checked out the other's iPod. He held my hand and kissed me on the cheek when he left. I didn't think he's call. I actually sort of forgot about it. And then he did call....our first date was the day before his birthday and we've been going strong ever since. He is nothing like anyone I have ever dated. He's smart, sexy, creative and young. 24 to be exact. But I'm ok with that. He's young enough to still want to show me affection in public and celebrate Valentine's Day. Yes, that's right...the kitty is celebrating Valentine's Day. For real. This guy makes me weak in the knees. He makes me giddy, giggly and all sorts of nervous. I love it! He's so adorable all the time. He calls to check in, sends me cute text messages during the day and the nights we spend together I spend wrapped up in his arms. OMG, I'm sappy. Who am I???
And that is the gist of what has occured in the last two months. Well, that and I turned 30. But who wants to talk about that?
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Boy trouble in DC
I am officially in the midst of my first DC boy drama. I'm so confused I don't even know if we are having drama. This one snuck up on me. I wasn't looking for it, I didn't ask for it and I didn't realize it was even happening until I was right in the middle of it. But I should start at the beginning.
The joke in my office is that everyone has an office boyfriend/girlfriend. Mine is the guy that started the same day I did. We went through orientation together (where I work they call it Boot Camp as it is a very intense process). He's from North Carolina, I'm from Minnesota so I guess we naturally gravitated towards each other because we were both new to town. Sounds innocent. It was innocent. We started spending time together outside of the office a few times a week. Football and beer here, dinner or happy hour there. Nothing that could be construed as a date. And then it all changed.
Last Thursday we went to watch the game. The place was packed so we ditched it for the diner across the street. OK, there was beer involved but every now and then he would touch my arm, my leg, my back. I didn't think much of it, really. Why would I? We work together and in my head we were just out having a good time. In my head we were becoming best friends. My head obviously doesn't know what it's about. The conversation was going so well we lost track of time and it got later than I planned. He decided I shouldn't ride the metro all the way home by myself, even though I've done it a hundred times. So he rode the metro all the way to my stop with me just to turn around and take it all the way back to where he needed to be. The train was crowded so we were standing close. There was a jolt and I stumbled a little. He reached out to steady me and as he pulled away his hand brushes mine. And stays there for a moment. It was only a moment but it was long enough for the bells to go off in my head. I looked up at him and that's when he pulled away. The next morning I decided I must have imagined it. We're just friends, right?
Fast forward to Friday. Office Boyfriend, OFB, and I had lunch together and chatted about everything but the previous evening. Again, I don't think about it until later but by then it's too late. I didn't have any plans that night so I decided to go to a movie. As I was preparing to leave he sent me a text message and somehow we decide to go to a movie together. AS we were sitting there in the dark I keep looking over at him and I realize he's really cute. How did I not notice that before? He looks and catches me looking. I just grin and turn my attention back to the movie. After the movie we decide to find someplace to eat. Again, because we are who we are we get to talking and the next thing you know it's 3 in the morning. He dropped me off and leans over and kisses me on the cheek. Again, it's not a huge thing, but then again I'm not yet done with my story. He texts me when he gets home and it says "I made it safe Kitten. Sleep well.". Let me explain this by saying that he actually called me Kitten. Out here in cyberworld that's how I'm known, but the name was derived from a nickname that only those closest to me use. And coming from him it suddenly sounds a little naughty.
So we're onto Saturday, and the two of us had previously planned to meet some other co-workers out at a club. So we're out, we're drinking (for those of you that read this that don't know me, I'm really not an alcholic, I swear). Anyway, someone asks him if he has a girlfriend and he says that there was someone back home but he wasn't sure it was going to work out. What? Wait a minute. Rewind, back the damn truck up, WHAT??? He has a girlfriend he never mentioned???? Not once? It's not like he never had the opputunity. I talked to him about ExB, he told me he used to date a french girl. But a girlfriend? WHAT THE HELL?
As you can imagine, I was stunned. Stunned = lots of shots and then confrontation. So I ask him why he never told me and then he does tell me all about her. I won't get into details, but it all makes sense. Except for the not telling me part. But I guess he really didn't have to....I mean, it's not like are having a romantic relationship. I don't think. Anyway, the night progresses and this conversation leads to that conversation leads to this other conversation and him telling me he has a hard time being around me and not touching me. So I was half in the bag, but I was sober enough to look him straight in the eye and say "Don't be that guy" and walk away. Another friend ended up driving me home and all I can think about is how disappointed I was that he has a girlfriend. You'd think the story ends there, but it doesn't.
Of course, he sends me a text when he gets home and asks if we are ok. I tell him yes, that I was just shocked he hadn't told me. And then it all comes out. They'd been dating for two years, but after a year he moved to a town 3 hours away from her and now he's moved more than 6. He doesn't want to break her heart, but doesn't know what to do about it. And then he met me and now he really doesn't know what to do. I tell him I'm flattered, but I'm definately not that girl. I won't be the other woman, no matter how much I want to. And I do want to, but I've heard this song and dance before. This goes on until 7 in the morning. And all by text message. Lovely invention that is. I'm not going to lie, there were certainly some sexual overtones but I was drunk so I'll blame it on that.
The next day he fails to show for our standing Sunday football date and that's when I realize I'm having boy drama and I don't even know how it happened. Later I get a message telling me he's ok, just had to get some work done because he's going on vacation. FIne. Yesterday I was working off-site so I didn't see him, but today......well, today I decided to make a statement. I put on an outfit I knew made me look smokin' hot, but was still professional, did my hair and perfected my make-up. It worked. When he saw me he dropped his coffee and I just walked right by.
Office romances are a bad idea anyway, right???
The joke in my office is that everyone has an office boyfriend/girlfriend. Mine is the guy that started the same day I did. We went through orientation together (where I work they call it Boot Camp as it is a very intense process). He's from North Carolina, I'm from Minnesota so I guess we naturally gravitated towards each other because we were both new to town. Sounds innocent. It was innocent. We started spending time together outside of the office a few times a week. Football and beer here, dinner or happy hour there. Nothing that could be construed as a date. And then it all changed.
Last Thursday we went to watch the game. The place was packed so we ditched it for the diner across the street. OK, there was beer involved but every now and then he would touch my arm, my leg, my back. I didn't think much of it, really. Why would I? We work together and in my head we were just out having a good time. In my head we were becoming best friends. My head obviously doesn't know what it's about. The conversation was going so well we lost track of time and it got later than I planned. He decided I shouldn't ride the metro all the way home by myself, even though I've done it a hundred times. So he rode the metro all the way to my stop with me just to turn around and take it all the way back to where he needed to be. The train was crowded so we were standing close. There was a jolt and I stumbled a little. He reached out to steady me and as he pulled away his hand brushes mine. And stays there for a moment. It was only a moment but it was long enough for the bells to go off in my head. I looked up at him and that's when he pulled away. The next morning I decided I must have imagined it. We're just friends, right?
Fast forward to Friday. Office Boyfriend, OFB, and I had lunch together and chatted about everything but the previous evening. Again, I don't think about it until later but by then it's too late. I didn't have any plans that night so I decided to go to a movie. As I was preparing to leave he sent me a text message and somehow we decide to go to a movie together. AS we were sitting there in the dark I keep looking over at him and I realize he's really cute. How did I not notice that before? He looks and catches me looking. I just grin and turn my attention back to the movie. After the movie we decide to find someplace to eat. Again, because we are who we are we get to talking and the next thing you know it's 3 in the morning. He dropped me off and leans over and kisses me on the cheek. Again, it's not a huge thing, but then again I'm not yet done with my story. He texts me when he gets home and it says "I made it safe Kitten. Sleep well.". Let me explain this by saying that he actually called me Kitten. Out here in cyberworld that's how I'm known, but the name was derived from a nickname that only those closest to me use. And coming from him it suddenly sounds a little naughty.
So we're onto Saturday, and the two of us had previously planned to meet some other co-workers out at a club. So we're out, we're drinking (for those of you that read this that don't know me, I'm really not an alcholic, I swear). Anyway, someone asks him if he has a girlfriend and he says that there was someone back home but he wasn't sure it was going to work out. What? Wait a minute. Rewind, back the damn truck up, WHAT??? He has a girlfriend he never mentioned???? Not once? It's not like he never had the opputunity. I talked to him about ExB, he told me he used to date a french girl. But a girlfriend? WHAT THE HELL?
As you can imagine, I was stunned. Stunned = lots of shots and then confrontation. So I ask him why he never told me and then he does tell me all about her. I won't get into details, but it all makes sense. Except for the not telling me part. But I guess he really didn't have to....I mean, it's not like are having a romantic relationship. I don't think. Anyway, the night progresses and this conversation leads to that conversation leads to this other conversation and him telling me he has a hard time being around me and not touching me. So I was half in the bag, but I was sober enough to look him straight in the eye and say "Don't be that guy" and walk away. Another friend ended up driving me home and all I can think about is how disappointed I was that he has a girlfriend. You'd think the story ends there, but it doesn't.
Of course, he sends me a text when he gets home and asks if we are ok. I tell him yes, that I was just shocked he hadn't told me. And then it all comes out. They'd been dating for two years, but after a year he moved to a town 3 hours away from her and now he's moved more than 6. He doesn't want to break her heart, but doesn't know what to do about it. And then he met me and now he really doesn't know what to do. I tell him I'm flattered, but I'm definately not that girl. I won't be the other woman, no matter how much I want to. And I do want to, but I've heard this song and dance before. This goes on until 7 in the morning. And all by text message. Lovely invention that is. I'm not going to lie, there were certainly some sexual overtones but I was drunk so I'll blame it on that.
The next day he fails to show for our standing Sunday football date and that's when I realize I'm having boy drama and I don't even know how it happened. Later I get a message telling me he's ok, just had to get some work done because he's going on vacation. FIne. Yesterday I was working off-site so I didn't see him, but today......well, today I decided to make a statement. I put on an outfit I knew made me look smokin' hot, but was still professional, did my hair and perfected my make-up. It worked. When he saw me he dropped his coffee and I just walked right by.
Office romances are a bad idea anyway, right???
Saturday, November 17, 2007
I'm homesick
I'll admit it. I'm homesick. Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love it here. Well, for the most part. I don't love getting up at 5:30 in the morning to catch the bus to Union Station where I have to transfer to another bus in order to make it to my office in Georgetown by 9. Thank God for iPods. On the other hand, I love my job so I guess that makes dealing with the Metro bearable. I also don't love that it's Saturday night and I am sitting here on my couch with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. I'm meeting people, but I still don't know anybody well enough to call them up and see what they are doing. Not to mention that my budget sort of prohibits any extracurricular activities at the moment. I miss all my friends in Minnesota. I'm sure this is a normal reaction and Loz keeps telling me that this is just a transition period. Logically I know that. Today just hasn't been a good day. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I'm the one that keeps saying you have to have hope, right?
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Sometimes It's Just a Moment
I am fully aware that it is only Tuesday but it has already been one heck of a week. I started my new job yesterday and I love it! What I don't love, however, is the commute. I opted not to bring a car so my main mode of transportation is the bus. One sees a lot of crazy things when you spend 2 hours on the bus each day. Today I saw a man get in an argument with the bus itself. Not the bus driver, not someone on the bus, but the actual vehicle. It occurred to me then how quickly we humans acclimate to change -or maybe it's just me - but I watched this guy scream at the "big metal thing" in the road and then went right back to reading like it was nothing out of the ordinary. And really, in this town, it's not. I guess that's part of it's charm for me. This city is living history and every night as I pass by the Capitol building all lighted up and beautiful, I feel so happy that I get to be a part of it.
We went out on the town on Friday night and it was a spectacular time. Dinner at a new and very trendy Cuban restaurant followed by billiards downtown. Well, I tried to play pool but evidently I have very little hand-eye coordination. Or it could have possibly been the mojitos at dinner. Either way, it wasn't pretty. Regardless, it attracted the attention of the group of guys next to us. I spent the entire night trading glances and small smiles with this cute guy a few tables away. Having been warned that the guys here are a bit more aggressive than I might be used to, I decided meeting someone on my first night out wasn't in the cards so I had no intention of talking to him. But I certainly didn't mind the view. One hour turned into two, then three and then the bar was closing down. I watched him leave and promptly forgot him. That is, until we walked out and he was standing there with a group of friends. Was he waiting for me? I wasn't sure, so I just smiled and we continued towards the car. A few moments later he caught up with us on the sidewalk.
"I'm Theo," he said.
"[Kitten]," I replied.
I smiled at him as Loz and her man picked up their pace to give us some privacy. And then "Can I get your number, little mama?"
Um, did he just call me little mama? I stifled a laugh and politely declined, asking for his instead. He gave it to me and as he walked away I turned once to watch. Sigh. I have a weakness for cute, bad boys and he was both. I never used the number and though I still have it I know I won't call.
Because sometimes all you need is that one electric moment to make you feel good whether it be the first time your eyes meet his or every time you see the Capitol at night.
We went out on the town on Friday night and it was a spectacular time. Dinner at a new and very trendy Cuban restaurant followed by billiards downtown. Well, I tried to play pool but evidently I have very little hand-eye coordination. Or it could have possibly been the mojitos at dinner. Either way, it wasn't pretty. Regardless, it attracted the attention of the group of guys next to us. I spent the entire night trading glances and small smiles with this cute guy a few tables away. Having been warned that the guys here are a bit more aggressive than I might be used to, I decided meeting someone on my first night out wasn't in the cards so I had no intention of talking to him. But I certainly didn't mind the view. One hour turned into two, then three and then the bar was closing down. I watched him leave and promptly forgot him. That is, until we walked out and he was standing there with a group of friends. Was he waiting for me? I wasn't sure, so I just smiled and we continued towards the car. A few moments later he caught up with us on the sidewalk.
"I'm Theo," he said.
"[Kitten]," I replied.
I smiled at him as Loz and her man picked up their pace to give us some privacy. And then "Can I get your number, little mama?"
Um, did he just call me little mama? I stifled a laugh and politely declined, asking for his instead. He gave it to me and as he walked away I turned once to watch. Sigh. I have a weakness for cute, bad boys and he was both. I never used the number and though I still have it I know I won't call.
Because sometimes all you need is that one electric moment to make you feel good whether it be the first time your eyes meet his or every time you see the Capitol at night.
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