Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Boy trouble in DC

I am officially in the midst of my first DC boy drama. I'm so confused I don't even know if we are having drama. This one snuck up on me. I wasn't looking for it, I didn't ask for it and I didn't realize it was even happening until I was right in the middle of it. But I should start at the beginning.



The joke in my office is that everyone has an office boyfriend/girlfriend. Mine is the guy that started the same day I did. We went through orientation together (where I work they call it Boot Camp as it is a very intense process). He's from North Carolina, I'm from Minnesota so I guess we naturally gravitated towards each other because we were both new to town. Sounds innocent. It was innocent. We started spending time together outside of the office a few times a week. Football and beer here, dinner or happy hour there. Nothing that could be construed as a date. And then it all changed.



Last Thursday we went to watch the game. The place was packed so we ditched it for the diner across the street. OK, there was beer involved but every now and then he would touch my arm, my leg, my back. I didn't think much of it, really. Why would I? We work together and in my head we were just out having a good time. In my head we were becoming best friends. My head obviously doesn't know what it's about. The conversation was going so well we lost track of time and it got later than I planned. He decided I shouldn't ride the metro all the way home by myself, even though I've done it a hundred times. So he rode the metro all the way to my stop with me just to turn around and take it all the way back to where he needed to be. The train was crowded so we were standing close. There was a jolt and I stumbled a little. He reached out to steady me and as he pulled away his hand brushes mine. And stays there for a moment. It was only a moment but it was long enough for the bells to go off in my head. I looked up at him and that's when he pulled away. The next morning I decided I must have imagined it. We're just friends, right?



Fast forward to Friday. Office Boyfriend, OFB, and I had lunch together and chatted about everything but the previous evening. Again, I don't think about it until later but by then it's too late. I didn't have any plans that night so I decided to go to a movie. As I was preparing to leave he sent me a text message and somehow we decide to go to a movie together. AS we were sitting there in the dark I keep looking over at him and I realize he's really cute. How did I not notice that before? He looks and catches me looking. I just grin and turn my attention back to the movie. After the movie we decide to find someplace to eat. Again, because we are who we are we get to talking and the next thing you know it's 3 in the morning. He dropped me off and leans over and kisses me on the cheek. Again, it's not a huge thing, but then again I'm not yet done with my story. He texts me when he gets home and it says "I made it safe Kitten. Sleep well.". Let me explain this by saying that he actually called me Kitten. Out here in cyberworld that's how I'm known, but the name was derived from a nickname that only those closest to me use. And coming from him it suddenly sounds a little naughty.



So we're onto Saturday, and the two of us had previously planned to meet some other co-workers out at a club. So we're out, we're drinking (for those of you that read this that don't know me, I'm really not an alcholic, I swear). Anyway, someone asks him if he has a girlfriend and he says that there was someone back home but he wasn't sure it was going to work out. What? Wait a minute. Rewind, back the damn truck up, WHAT??? He has a girlfriend he never mentioned???? Not once? It's not like he never had the opputunity. I talked to him about ExB, he told me he used to date a french girl. But a girlfriend? WHAT THE HELL?



As you can imagine, I was stunned. Stunned = lots of shots and then confrontation. So I ask him why he never told me and then he does tell me all about her. I won't get into details, but it all makes sense. Except for the not telling me part. But I guess he really didn't have to....I mean, it's not like are having a romantic relationship. I don't think. Anyway, the night progresses and this conversation leads to that conversation leads to this other conversation and him telling me he has a hard time being around me and not touching me. So I was half in the bag, but I was sober enough to look him straight in the eye and say "Don't be that guy" and walk away. Another friend ended up driving me home and all I can think about is how disappointed I was that he has a girlfriend. You'd think the story ends there, but it doesn't.



Of course, he sends me a text when he gets home and asks if we are ok. I tell him yes, that I was just shocked he hadn't told me. And then it all comes out. They'd been dating for two years, but after a year he moved to a town 3 hours away from her and now he's moved more than 6. He doesn't want to break her heart, but doesn't know what to do about it. And then he met me and now he really doesn't know what to do. I tell him I'm flattered, but I'm definately not that girl. I won't be the other woman, no matter how much I want to. And I do want to, but I've heard this song and dance before. This goes on until 7 in the morning. And all by text message. Lovely invention that is. I'm not going to lie, there were certainly some sexual overtones but I was drunk so I'll blame it on that.



The next day he fails to show for our standing Sunday football date and that's when I realize I'm having boy drama and I don't even know how it happened. Later I get a message telling me he's ok, just had to get some work done because he's going on vacation. FIne. Yesterday I was working off-site so I didn't see him, but today......well, today I decided to make a statement. I put on an outfit I knew made me look smokin' hot, but was still professional, did my hair and perfected my make-up. It worked. When he saw me he dropped his coffee and I just walked right by.



Office romances are a bad idea anyway, right???