Monday, March 31, 2008

Just When You Thought It Was Over

Let me preface this entry by saying that I am very, very happy with Mr. APR. Sure, we still haven't actually had "the talk" and I know absolutely nothing of his past but when we're together it doesn't matter. He makes me laugh, does little things he knows will make me smile and his bedroom antics left me speechless (in a VERY good way) on 2 different occasions this weekend. I look forward to his phone calls at night and hate when he's away. Sounds perfect, right?



So why the hell do things like this keep happening to me?



It's Friday night. APR and I are out for our usual dinner and a movie. I've been waiting days to see him and I am just reveling in the affection. He obviously missed me as much as I missed him. My phone chirps......wait, what is this, a text message from OBF? I am confused, but I play it off. After all, OBF and I more or less decided against any contact over the weekend given that his gf was in town and I was spending the weekend with my boyfriend......or whatever you want to call him. It's not like there's been much going on there. We still talk, with the occasional innuendo, but that's been the extent of it. But still, there it was bright and bold on my phone - One new text (OBF). huh. He wanted to know the name of a certain Cuban restaurant I frequent with a friend. I've been telling him for months that I'm going to bring him there, and now he wants to know the name of it so he can bring is gf? I felt a flicker of jealousy but quickly put it out. He's not mine, why should i be jealous? I responded, and let it go.



1:00 a.m. I am laying on the bed, trying to catch my breath when my phone goes off. New text message - it's OBF. 'Thanks', it said "But we went to Havana Village instead. Hows your night going?'



(Insert Record Scratching Sound)



WTF????



He knows where I am, who I'm with and he wants to know how it's going? I didn't respond...that would just be too weird.



Sunday Afternoon - I'm sitting next to APR on the sofa. He's working, I'm working.....it's the epitome of domestic bliss. I check my email for something I am waiting on and that's when I see it. "Damn, this kinda sucks" it says. Sent at 1:37 am.



Kitten - "What sucks?" (even though I think I know the answer)

OBF - "Not talking all weekend" (Yep, I knew the answer)

Kitten - "Cute, I miss you too, now go have a good weekend and we'll talk soon."

OBF - "Let's go out this week. Soon."

He's coming over tonight to help me hang some pictures and do some other things around the place I can't do with a fractured ankle. I shouldn't let him. I know that.

But I missed him too.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Little Moments

Every now and then in one's life you are faced with a situation you are unprepared for and unfailingly shocked by. Perhaps that moment will bring you closer to another, perhaps it will tear you apart. Perhaps it will be the start of a journey you did not expect, the mystery of it's conclusion pulling you further in. Everyone has these moments; we probably have them more than we know. They are the little turning points in the road called life that we all travel and inevitably they have a profound effect.

I had one such moment over the weekend and it will stay with me for as long as I live. This weekend was by no means a good one. I spent the majority of it cooped up in a u-haul driving through a blizzard with my dad in the passenger seat. Not anyone's idea of a rockin' good time, but it had to be done. I officially live in DC. I have a permanent address and everything. I want to do a little dance, but I don't think my co-workers would appreciate the visual.

As I said, my dad drove here with me and decided to stay a few extra days. I was excited and nervous as my dad and I have never spent much time alone together. It's sad to say, but my brother is my father's child and I am most definitely my mother's. Needless to say, I was looking forward to some one and one time with him. Since we got here and got the truck unloaded on Saturday, I decided to take him sightseeing on Sunday. We hit very monument on the wall - the Capitol Building, the Washington Monument, the World War 2 Memorial, the Korean War Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Vietnam Memorial. It was at the last that my moment occurred. First, my father being a man of very few words, I was startled when he said he wanted to find someone's name on the wall. I was even more taken aback when we found the name and there, standing in the middle of DC, I saw my father cry for the 4th time in my entire life. I wonder a little what he was crying for......what happened there? Who was this person that could cause so much emotion for such an unemotional man? Was it actually this man he was crying for or perhaps the memory of many lost comrades? I don't know, because I couldn't bring myself to ask. What I could do was take his hand and stand there solemnly as he remembered things I'm sure I can't even imagine. Then, as we quietly walked away I wondered just how much there is that I don't know about my father. I think maybe it's time I make the effort to get to know him.