It's a Small World

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, Mistress Kitten floated down the aisle of a grand church in a white dress that made her the envy of every other princess in the kingdom. At the end of said aisle, her Prince Charming stood awaiting her. Amidst their friends and family Mistress Kitten and her Prince Charming were married in a joyous union and they lived happily ever after.......



Except they didn't. If only fairy tales truly existed this world would be a much better place. The sad reality is that couples get sick of each other. They either get divorced or in some mad fit throw a vase at exactly the right angle and end up spending the next 50 years in the state prison because their partners skull is not made of stone, no matter how many times you said that to your mother. This Kitten chose divorce. It seemed like the best option. I don't think I would do well in prison.

Of course, my situation is not unique. More and more these days I meet people who are my age and divorced once, twice, sometimes three times. I have several theories about why this happens, but that is an entirely different blog post. The point here is that while it is increasingly common to find thirty-somethings that have been both married and divorced, I'd be willing to gamble on the fact that few have ended up in my situation. The ending of my not so-in-love love story is truly one for the digital age. It goes like this:

I got married at 22 years old. Not young by some people's standards, but not nearly old enough to be committing your life to someone and know exactly what it is you are doing either. Obviously, it didn't last. Sadly, neither have any of my relationships since then, but that is neither here nor there. Comparatively speaking, my divorce was more amicable than most. My ex-husband and I do not 'hate' one another, but we aren't friendly either. In fact, we do almost everything we can to avoid the other. Shortly after the divorce was final, he asked me to sign papers having our marriage annulled within the catholic church because he wanted to get married again. In one last act of marital charity, I signed them. At that point, what else could I do? Now I would be completely free of him. So I thought.......



Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I was sitting at my desk at work computing the numbers as they flashed across my screen. 1 day, 3 days, 47 days....blah blah blah. I need a distraction! Please, anything, my brain feels like it's about to explode. So I open up my personal email account and ding ding ding! I have a new Facebook friend request! It's from an old college friend (I swear, I have no idea how these people find me). However, as much as I am surprised that she's found me, I am also very excited. It's been years since I have seen or talked to her, and I am anxious to catch up. We were very close in college, so naturally I'm curious to see what she's been up to in the last 10 years.

Eagerly, I hop on Facebook and accept the request. Immediately I go to her page. Wow! She looks so different! Her hair is red (it used to be blonde), she's a little curvier than I remember (aren't we all?), but all in all she looks beautiful. Especially in her profile picture which must have been taken at someone's wedding, because she is wearing a bridesmaid's dress. So there I am, preparing to write something witty on her wall when I happen to see the last post. It's from her sister. It's not the post or the fact that it's from her sister that catches me off guard. It's her sister's last name. A sense of foreboding fills me as the alarm bells start ringing in my head. I know that last name.

I know it because I used to have it.

Wait, she was wearing a bridesmaid's dress......could it be? Is it possible? As if on it's own accord, my hand moves the mouse to her picture link. The bells are getting louder in my head. My palms start to sweat and breathing is becoming a bit difficult. My inner Kitten, the smart one, the one that knows better is screaming at me to stop what I am doing IMMEDIATELY. Do I really want to know? Of course not. But I click on the link anyway.

There it is. An album of 30 photos titled "Sister & Kitten's Ex Wedding". Are you KIDDING me? Her SISTER is married to my EX-HUSBAND!!!! For a moment time is suspended and I am in an alternate universe. There is no possible way this is happening. What are the odds? Do I care? Knowing full well I am not going to enjoy the outcome, I page through every single one of those pictures. He looks happy, wearing a tuxedo and posing for wedding pictures that are not ours. How odd to be able to witness that part of his life without his knowledge.

I shut down the computer and lean back in my chair, taking very deep breaths. Just when I thought he was gone for good.

It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all.......