Why did I wait so long to have that talk with Mr. APR? What was I afraid of? Ok, I know what I was afraid of. I had run through every scenario in my head and all of them ended in an argument. In some I stormed out (though I where I would go is a mystery since I don't own a car), in some he stormed out. Perhaps that's just my prior relationship issues coming to the surface, but that's not the way it went down at all. He was so understanding, and, as it turns out, just as unsure of the relationship as I was. We should have had that talk weeks ago. At least now I know where he stands.
Now if I could just decide where I stood.........
I'm not going to tell the story because I've decided that I'm sick of it. Yes, I am actually sick of myself as I relate to OBF. I am sick of the way I act when I am around him, sick of being sad when things don't work out, sick of all the waiting and wondering.....I'm just sick. I am a mature, successful, bright adult. Why in the world can I not get out of this neverending cycle of regurgitated affection? He's a bad habit....the best bad habit I've ever had, but bad nonetheless.
How long does it take to break a bad habit?
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