The Gifts That I've Been Given

I'm packed, the car is loaded, maps are printed and hotel reservations made. This Kitten is ready for her Big Adventure. Sort of. I might be having a bit of a melt down, but I'm sure it's just cold feet. It's like right before you walk down the aisle towards the man of your dreams. Your head is swimming, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it may beat right out of your chest and you find yourself gasping for air. Is it because the man standing before you looks so incredibly handsome in his rented tuxedo, or is it because some little part of you is absolutely terrified of putting one foot in front of the other and taking the step that could irrevocably change your life? If you know me, or have read my previous posts, you know that I am a 29 year old divorcee. So maybe the wedding analogy isn't the best one to use because clearly I should have run screaming the other direction as soon as I found it even remotely difficult to breathe. I can only hope this adventure has a better outcome. And as I said in my first post, I always have hope.

And I have gifts! In the last several days I've been given gifts of all shapes and sizes - big, small, expensive, unique and thoughtful. There was a camera, a new laptop, quarters for the tolls, a copy of my favorite book. My 9 year old friend gave me the ugliest, most detestable looking purple and pink stuffed poodle I have ever seen. "It's for you to cuddle until you get your real dogs get to come live with you again", he said. It's by far the most beautiful stuffed animal I have ever had and I plan on squeezing it within an inch of it's life every time I miss my babies.

My best friend, The Master (MP), stopped over today and brought me a tiny, wooden hand-carved frog. This is the second occasion she has made such a gesture. Years ago, as I sat on the precipice of making a life-changing decision she presented me with a small pottery frog saying it was for good luck. I carry in my purse wherever I go and this new frog will be no different. This time she says its the "good luck traveling frog". Whatever it is, it means the world to me.

But perhaps the greatest gift of all were the words that were spoken by another close friend of mine, albeit drunkenly. Last night we surprised her with a 30th birthday party 2 months before the actual day of her birth. It was also my unofficial going away bash and trust me, we made the most of it. There were pictures, cake and large amounts of alcohol. We danced, we laughed, we toasted the fact the the Fabulous Five have withstood the test of time. We are all still friends, and always will be. Later, as the night was winding down I decided it was time for me to take my leave. Birthday Girl walked me out (well, more like stumbled, but she meant well). We stood on the sidewalk outside the bar exchanging one last drunken, sobbing embrace when she said "I love you. I am not scared for you because I know this is what is best for you. You NEED this and you are going to do so well and have so much fun because this is what you were meant to do. When you succeed, I will be here to share in those successes and if for some reason you fail, I will be here to pick up the pieces. But that won't happen so you make sure you call and tell me everything that's happening out there." That's a pretty good translation as some of the words were slurred, but I knew where she was going. You can't be friends for 25 years and not practically read the other's mind.

I was speechless, so I just buried my head in her shoulder and cried. A few moments later when I had recovered my senses I stepped back to look at her and just said thank you. Sometimes the greatest gift you can receive are the kind words of another - coming when you least expect it but at a time when they are most needed.