It's All Here

My Big Move is three days away - almost two. I think I have suffciently recovered from my panic attack but now I am feeling a little melancholy. Are these normal emotions when one is preparing to leave behind all that is familiar? I would think they are, but most people think I'm a little crazy so maybe I'm not a good judge of what's normal.

It's my own fault, really. I had a lot of time to think today as I was finishing up my packing and think I did. I couldn't stop thinking. It was like everything in my head was in a mad dash to get front and center. Memories were stumbling all over each other, pushing and prodding to gain my attention. It's ironic that some of us secretly, or maybe not so secretly in my case, spend our lives dreaming of a way out of this glacier and then when the moment arrives we spend the majority of our time reminiscing about everything that happened here.

My whole life is here. Everything and everyone that have made me who I am today are here. Or at least were at some point. I learned how to tie my shoes, ride a bike and cast a fishing rod here. It was here that I fell in love and subsequently got my heart broken for the first time ( sadly, I would let him in to break my heart a second, third, and years later as adults, a fourth. When will I ever learn??). This is the place where my strongest friendships (The Fabulous Five and all that have come after) were forged and where my best memories were made. Here is where I sang my first solo, learned how to drive, then learned how to handle a crash. I lost my virginity here and the first time I ever got drunk was on brandy in the kitchen of Nif's house playing King's Corner until dawn. I went to college and got my first job here. I got married and divorced here. My family is here, my friends are here, my dogs are here.

So yes, I will miss it here. I will miss everyone that I love, I will miss the seasons and I will miss my dogs (don't worry all you pet lovers, they are only staying here temporarily until I can get a place of my own. I could never leave them completely). But I will always have my memories. However, I am looking forward to making new memories in a new place. I do love a good adventure.