Wednesday, October 24, 2007

What Just Happened?

I find that I am asking myself that a lot these days. What just happened?

Yesterday Mr. Beautiful and I are on email fire and today nothing. Yes, I know I said I was going to say good-bye..........but I really do want to say good-bye. In person, clothing optional. I'm pretty sure we were on the same wavelength about that, but he hasn't called and no email today. Obviously there are no strings attached so I fail to see the problem. So what just happened?

Today I am having a conversation with a close friend who happens to be male. Again, over email as that seems to be my preferred method of communication. I tell him that I think I am having a panic attack and I ask what that feels like. He says (AND I QUOTE) "Like when I am too far away from you". Ummm, yeah. What just happened?

Last night I was uber-productive. I took Whit's advice and I PURGED! No, I did not throw up my dinner but when I was done in my closet it looked like 1995 had thrown up on my bedroom floor. I even got most of my packing done. I rented a car. As suggested by my ultra-trendy friend, I downloaded my music and uploaded my photos. I transferred files from my old computer to my new one (new life = new technology). I went to bed feeling satisfied that I was on my way to actually being prepared for this move. I woke up this morning gasping for breath as Europe's "It's the Final Countdown" screamed in my head and a cold sweat covered my entire body. Nightmare? I don't think so. I think I really am in the midst a full fledged panic attack. What just happened?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi! i found you through heather woodard's blog - i'm new to yours, but just thought i would drop a quick line. three years ago i packed up all my stuff and moved to nyc. everyone said the same stuff to me (you're crazy, what are you thinking, and on and on.) three years later, there have been a lot of ups and downs, but it's been great and i'm so glad i did it. congrats on your upcoming move, it won't always be easy, but it's going to be amazing! good luck!
briana

Mistress Kitten said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mistress Kitten said...

Thanks! I love pep talks! :-) And I really need them right now!

Unknown said...

I'm so proud of you, Kitten - and not just for purging. You're brave and bright and beautiful. And that kind of combination is unbeatable!

Mistress Kitten said...

Ah, Whit, you always know how to make me smile. Anybody told you lately that you are the best???