There are very few things that can move one into action as swiftly and completely as disappointment. I'm not talking about the kind of disappointment you feel on a Sunday afternoon when your 2-1 Texans make a complete debacle of themselves by losing to the 0-3 Falcons after you have already spent $7.00 on a shot of Petron because of some silly tradition you weren't even around to create. At least it numbed the pain of humiliating defeat. No, I'm talking about the kind of heart breaking, gut wrenching, soul twisting disappointment you feel when you're expectations about something - or someone - have been shattered into a million little pieces like the Tiffany lamp of my mother's I dropped when I was in the 4th grade. It's when you know that even though they've said the words, they don't really mean them. It's the kind of disappointment that comes from having so much to say, but not quite being able to form the words and realizing that even if you had it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway.
It's that bitter taste that makes you wake up one morning and say "Enough is enough. Get me the hell out of here!"
And so, with disappointment weighing heavily on my heart I finally decided to stop putting off the move to Washington D.C. and just do it. Not only am I going to do it, I am going to document it for all you voyeurs out there that love drama. Perhaps I should thank disappointment for kicking my butt into gear. Ready or not, here I come. In a few weeks I will pack up my clothes, my journals and my computer and head east. I just need to get there. There's a new life waiting in the one bedroom condo my best friend rents on Capitol Hill. Ok, so maybe it isn't the greatest start to a new life, and this little adventure of mine will probably come with it's own set of disappointments, but at least it's a start.
Even if disappointment is my word of the day, it doesn't mean I don't have hope.
1 comment:
If you don't have hope, you have nothing.
...and, it's a nice little condo might I add. :)
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